Z – an eager filler-in of hoagies – twice every day blurts out an almost uniformed take on our ham sandwich while telling us about the many different ways you can make one, with so many different filling combinations, including sharp sharp mustard.
The key suppliers of these ingredients, however, have been bedeviled by indecision, and the presumption that Le plat will served according to their own plans and expectations. So far, they have scrapped together mostly tomatoes, thinly sliced red onions and cheese, in the hope that this will be sufficient. Although they have gradually agreed to provide more meat, the delays have made us even hungrier.
Since arriving in Ukraine (where he who has ordered a coffee at the same time as his sandwich can expect to be regarded as though a swastika has just appeared on his forehead) I’ve wandered through – what, seventeen? – kitchen stores and at least a dozen megamarkets, forever on the lookout for what has become a sort of holy sandwich chalice: a simple, wood-handled spreader of sufficient size to aid the easy application of butter to toast and cream cheese to bagel. You may agree that the pleasures of finding such a tool close to hand in the kitchen cannot be overstated.
As far as I can tell, after 20 years of looking, spreaders – rather like World War Two collaborationists and luxuriating former dictators – do not officially exist in Ukraine. This is irksome and saddening. It amounts to an admittedly tiny but nonetheless palpable droplet of pain introduced to the clear waters of this 21st century lifestyle: insignificant in volume, perhaps, but its presence has tinctured all.
Anyway if someone would be willing to send me one (or two: small kitchen things tend to require backup), I’d reciprocate with a bottle of Ехинацея Пурпурова (Echinacea purpurea) extract or some such.
The staff of The Washington Post yesterday published two very long articles about the war12. (This is the same newspaper that concocted the fairytale that Ukrainian special services officer Roman Chervinsky and his friends blew up Russian gas pipelines under the Baltic Sea in September 20223.)
One takeaway is that Commander-in-Chief of the Armed Forces of Ukraine Valeriy Zaluzhny changed plans on the fourth day of the much-ballyhooed counteroffensive in June.
Why did America’s top brass and war strategists think it was a bright idea to mount that assault in the first place, without effective air support? That Zaluzhny pulled the plug so quickly is one reason why the overwhelming number of Ukrainians still trust him.
Contradictions between Ukraine’s military and political power blocs have since bubbled to the surface, with members of Z’s political party now complaining about how attempts to liberate Russia-occupied areas have been organized. They blame the Commander-in-Chief for failing to cope with military tasks, but ignore the fact that the Supreme Commander-in-Chief has not provided the military what’s necessary to achieve the desired result. The man Zaluzhny is paid to report to – the twitching chimp that is Z fils – is unlikely to get much respect inside the Beltway, because pep rallies don’t stop invaders and promised policy adjustments haven’t materialized.
In Ukraine, a war of incremental gains as counteroffensive stalls (The Washington Post, December 4, 2023)
Ukrainian military officer coordinated Nord Stream pipeline attack. Roman Chervinsky, a colonel in Ukraine’s special operations forces, was integral to the brazen sabotage operation, say people familiar with planning (The Washington Post, November 11, 2023)
I will happily send some over your way. It’ll be easiest with Amazon so just message me with the address & your wish list.