Warm Bath Alternative to P-Value

Ukraine's president is as intelligent as a garden rake

Due to the strong overreliance on p-values in political reporting some Ukraine experts have argued that op-eds should be abandoned or banned, and that we need to move beyond them and embrace practical alternatives. When proposing alternatives to p-values, experts often commit the ‘Pollster’s Fallacy,’ where they make believe popularity ratings actually reflect reality.

The calculated probability that Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky is a complete jackass should no longer be in doubt after the Kyiv-based Ukrainska Pravda ezine aired a two-part hours-long days-in-the-life hagiography of this increasingly puffy disruptor.

Take, for example, the following monologue, in which Zelensky talks about his bright idea to contract COVID-19 and barricade himself in the President’s Office.

"Why? To make it easier for people. We had a moment of depression, we got together and and I suggested: let me get sick and immediately isolate me at Bankova. I’ll sleep there and live normally. Well, so that people understand that it’s scary. It will show that you can get sick and feel bad. I will show this to people by my example, that you have to be isolated, so they understand that there is no depression, that this is a plague. Because we already forgot how very terrible the moment was at the very beginning, when people thought that we would all die. So I suggested this.” the president said.

In the second installment of the hagiography, Zelensky had unkind words to say about almost everyone, except Ukraine’s oligarchs.

Andriy Bohdan, former chief of staff - power-hungry

Oleksiy Honcharuk, former prime minister - self-aggrandizer, too much FB

Petro Poroshenko, former president - egomaniac manipulator

Denys Yermak, brother of President’s Office Head - loud oaf

Geo Leros, member of parliament who leaked unflattering video clips - con artist

At least one public response to the president’s criticism was swift and brutal.

Dear Volodymyr Olesandrovych, I wanted to respond to your interview.

The rules of business ethics do not allow decent people to comment on the period of their joint activities, even if these people have parted ways. Of course, this rule is often violated in Ukraine and I, as a lawyer, including yours, can tell hundreds of stories about how it ended (Never anything good).

Of course, I am a bearer of knowledge that is very sensitive for you and for the country, but believe me, I will remain a decent person.

As for depriving me of power, I am grateful to you, because my name will not be related to the chaos you have thrown the country into. Let me remind you of one of our agreements with you - I promised to work honestly with you, until you let me go. Because I did not follow the positions but the realization of the dream. And I accomplished a lot in six months - you and your team have concentrated in a democratic way absolute power in the country, which you have turned into a laughing stock in four months.

I sincerely regret that you traded our dreams of a country of happy people where there is no corruption for a warm bath for yourself based on the cheap whims of unprofessional and narcissistic people who manipulate you.

Sincerely,

Andriy Bohdan

At least one third of Ukrainians have suspected for at least a year that Zelensky is a clown, however, few expected that the time would come when the standard of competency for foreign experts turned out to be the ability to construe accurately what has now become patently obvious.

The ability to fill in missing information, a commonplace in human behavior, has been termed analysis by synthesis by psychologists. It refers to the strategy of internally generating or shadowing what people say (or do) so that we may more easily reduce the number of possibilities to consider.

Policy makers in the west should take the time and make full use of their processing capacity to thoroughly examine Bohdan’s sensitive knowledge. As long as ignorance is bliss, Ukraine’s future will be static.