Stay Out of Doorways!

Tactical Athletics at Tootsie's

I practically never look at the greasy rag anymore, only nipping in now and again to see what press release Padraig has lightly edited, or to chuckle at Vietnam-era refugee and onetime welfare recipient Diane Francis foaming about someone else’s conspiracy theory. Fuckpigs Serhiy Leshchenko, Iuliia Mendel and Luc Chenier you already know about.

Yesterday Francis wrote an entire column, titled Vlad’s Bluff, that regurgitates the latest theory Andrey Illarionov has been vlogging about.

One assumes Illarionov is hoping to reclaim some self esteem after comparing the insurrection in America last January to the Reichstag fire in 1933. Read that for yourself here. Maybe Francis also agrees with Illarionov that no one knows who really won the 2020 U.S. presidential election?

In other news, WAPO columnist David Ignatius informs us that U.S. and allied non-permissive environment specialists have already landed in Kyiv and are scheming with indigenous commandos at Tootsie Club to liberate possible future oppressed residents of the capital.

Whatever. Carousing is not only a key to Special Operations success but is also a great way to push your mind and body to new limits.